On Wednesday this week I have my first appointment at the hospital in Birmingham. This is the hospital that will be looking after me in my ‘transplant’ capacity, all the way from the initial assessment to the transplant itself will be done there.
I’m not sure what this appointment is on Wednesday. No one has told me anything. I knew I had been referred to their liver people, so my assumption is that they need to see me and agree with my specialist’s diagnosis. But we will see. All I have is a letter telling me where to go and when.
Like the good boy that I am, I had a blood test on Friday so I can go along with all my latest results. They’ll almost certainly want to take some of their own, but it’s good to go along with some too.
Now this is where I get sad. I got some of my results today – I keep track of specific tests so I can judge my overall health. The results that I track have all got better. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still well over what is considered normal (take the bilirubin for example, the high end of normal is 17, my current results are just under 200) but going by my history over the past 6 weeks I have been waiting for this appointment, they are all fairly good.
For example, my bilirubin a fortnight ago was 250.
I seem to be in the odd situation that getting better is not what I want. I actually want to be sicker. I want the doctors to see me at my worst. My biggest worry at the moment is that the doctors in Birmingham won’t agree that I need a transplant and then I will be left in limbo. Too ill to work but not ill enough to be listed for the one thing that will make me better.
Anyway, I guess I won’t know until Wednesday. I’ll update you all as soon as I can after.
I wonder if you could all do me a favour. Instead of wishing I get better, could you all wish that I don’t? That would actually be more helpful at the moment.